a relationship on the rocks

I have been neglecting a relationship for a long while. The relationship is with my Father in Heaven. My life the last couple months has been difficult, to say the least. I lost everything that I thought defined me. Because God allowed this to happen, I was lost. People told me that God had a plan for me, and I asked Him, "what exactly is this plan." I could not see God in my life at all.

I figured, that if God was ignoring my pain, then I would ignore Him. I quit praying. I thought, He wasn't listening anyway, so what was the point. In fact, I turned away, and refused to look back. In the process, everything got worse. The pain got worse, and life was not getting any better. I was sinking further and further into the abyss of loneliness. I was hurt, broken and beaten. I was engulfed in a sea of lies, put there by Satan, and I fell for them hook, line and sinker.

Not to long ago I went to visit my pastor, and he said, I had a choice. I could believe the lies and take myself further and further into the hole, or fight against Satan and start looking towards Heaven. I told him that I had ignored God so long, I didn't even know why he would want me back. Pastor said that God always takes back his children if we repent; He loves me enough to take me back no matter how many times I get angry. He sent his son to die for me. Pastor also said that reading my bible would help me protect myself from Satan. I was leery, but I did repent. A weight of months of grief and turmoil was lifted. Things weren't sunny looking, but I felt like I had a chance.

I started reading my bible. I have had a schedule of bible readings I copied from another bible of mine, and decided to dig them out. I realized that I could read my bible before work. I tried it for a few days, and it was the perfect time.

When I arrive at work, I have around an hour and a half to read a few of the assigned scriptures. I usually am able to ready two or three of the assignments at a time. When I am done reading, I pray as well. Sometimes they are tearful prayers, and sometimes they are thankful because he has kept my family safe through the chaos of life. Today, I finished the first schedule, and am now on to the second. I am excited.

Since I started reading my bible, praying and watching for the lies Satan tries to put in my head, my heart has become even lighter. When something happens, I may be disappointed, but I am still okay.

In conclusion, my relationship with God will never be perfect. There will be times when I will feel forgotten, but I will also know that it is Satan that is making me feel that way because God loves me too much to leave me alone. He will ALWAYS be there.

That is the random thought for today.

~To heavenly relationships